Sunday, May 22, 2011

Life's Purpose, "Giving back" & Why Self-Interest Really Isn't Bad

I just read an article on the Huffington Post by Douglas Labier titles, "Why It's So Hard to Find Your Life's Purpose". It's a pretty good read for being self-helpy - mostly because he actually acknowledges that books and programs that promise to show you how to find your life's purpose don't work.

But the main point of his article is that in order to find you life's purpose you must participate in "service to something larger than your ego". This sounds obvious. We've always been taught to help others and give to te greater good. As children we were taught to share with other children.

Labier's article is one of many examples I see every day about the nobility of giving to others. I run an after-school program called Entrepreneur Teens Rock that teaches teens how to start their own business. As part of the program they participated in Lemonade Day, a national organization that organizes young people to run a lemonade stand on the same day. In their kit they give to the kids to help them prepare for running their lemonade stand, the last chapter is called "Banking & Giving Back". It instructs the kids to open a savings account and encourages them to give some of their earnings to a charity for those who don't have the opportunity to run a lemonade stand.

I have no problem with giving to charity or those less fortunate. But I do have a problem with this notion that business, even a small one like a lemonade stand, only takes from its customers and others. I mean, didn't the youth who participated in Lemonade Day make their customers happy? Ok, you could say that it doesn't count because the customers paid for the refreshing cups of lemonade they received. The customers had to give something to the kids in order to get their lemonade.

So I just have one question: When you give to charity, you don't get anything in return? When you donate money to the Red Cross or collect food for the Food Pantry do you walk away with less then you had before?

While giving feels like a sacrifice you wouldn't do it unless it made you happy. Right? And when giving to charity or volunteering neglects to make you happy you either quit giving or you give begrudgingly. This is nothing to feel ashamed about.

Why is making people's lives better in exchange for money not as noble as making someone's life better in exchange for feeling good about yourself?

In his article, Labier does point out that self interest and the ego are a part of being human but in the next sentence he says we should strive to rise above our egos. It's not our egos and self interest that are the problem. Believe me, no matter what you do with your life your ego will be right there with you. The problem is that we don't embrace our self interest as a beautiful tool to judge the quality of our life.

The conclusion that Labier should have reached if he was being honest and respected his own self interest is that people who find their purpose in life are able to satisfy their self interest. The woman musician who starts a non-profit teaching music to inner-city kids is just as noble and in line with her life's purpose as the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company who provides thousands of jobs to people from all walks of life selling widgets that make our lives easier.

Your life's purpose can be anything. Even if it involves making money. Don't turn away from it because people like Labier make it seem less noble.

6 comments:

  1. Good call - and clearly put Sara. Particularly liked "people who find their purpose in life are able to satisfy their self interest" - oh and also "The problem is that we don't embrace our self interest as a beautiful tool to judge the quality of our life." - so true! x

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  2. Thanks for the comment, Noreen. I think that self interest is misunderstood by many people. They associate self interest with something like a CEO lying to his customers about a dangerous chemical in the product he sells. But they neglect to acknowledge that self interest has kept our species alive for centuries or that self interest is what motivated businesses to make quality products their customers will buy (thereby making the company a profit.)

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  3. Bravo Sara! I love it!

    Self-interest is not only apart of being human, it is the reason why we are still alive! If we ever shirk off self-interest we will die. self-interest compels us to eat, drink, sleep, work, and play.

    also, the only way any business can survive is if the product that it sells is *valued* by the people that live in the economy. if the product is without social or personal value, the company cannot survive. So, the only way to be a successful businessperson is to add value to society. It's a beautiful concept. :)

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  4. Sara, you bring up many relevant points and I tend to agree. "Why is making people's lives better in exchange for money not as noble as making someone's life better in exchange for feeling good about yourself?"
    Of course people self-justify their own scarifies but they often fail to realize that what has become important for them is not necessary important for others. Ayn Rand wrote extensively on the virtues of self-interest but her philosophies seemed to have drifted from the mainstream. I think there is a middle-ground between pure self-interest and selflessness.

    My other thought is that not everyone is overly concerned with finding their life's purpose, however those that are preoccupied with this goal also seem ready to convince everyone else that they need to find their purpose too.

    I recently wrote about a new kind of giving back on my blog about sharing our experience and surplus knowledge http://www.courageouslycreative.com/

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  5. D.Lucero, I really like how you say "people who live in the economy". This might be drifting off-topic a little but I think your comment is more important than we think. All too often we think of the economy as being separate from ourselves. People even take pride in being anti-capitalist or anti-free market. It's like they think that saying that somehow instantly removes them from acting within our economy. It's very important to understand that for better or worse we, as Americans, are completely a part of our economy. It's a shame that so many people don't recognize the power that gives them and even worse are the people who think it's a negative thing to be a part of our economy.

    And in regards to your first paragraph: I agree with you that people have forgotten that self-interest and survival of the fittest were and still are (to the chagrin of many) the very concepts that enable our species to grow and thrive. Self-interest is more prevalent in people's lives than they know or care to admit. It's just that so many people tell false stories about the concept of self-interest and sadly many people believe them.

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  6. David, I agree that "those that are preoccupied with this goal also seem ready to convince everyone else that they need to find their purpose too." This is why I don't like self-help. Self-help gurus tend to think that because they found a way to be successful in their lives then everyone else will find success too, but only if they follow their 12 step process. I hope I didn't convey this same viewpoint with my original post.

    I'm not sure if you mentioning Ayn Rand was a sign of supporting her but I do follow Ayn Rand's philosophy. And I think what she was trying to teach is essentially what my original post was about. Self-interest exists whether we believe it or not and it exists in spite of the stories we tell ourselves and others about it. So much energy is wasted trying not to be self-interested and trying to convince ourselves that we aren't self-interested. I just wish that people would realize how beautiful self-interest is.

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