Thursday, March 31, 2011

Hammer, Coffee & Birdsong

I woke up this morning and felt like there was a hammer in my brain. It wasn't a headache but this dull thumping like something trying to get out. I understand now how Zeus felt when Athena burst out of his head. The thumping was unforgiving. I turned on the tv to start my exercise video but I couldn't get over the urge that I had to go outside and just walk until the hammering stopped.

Walking usually clears my head and this morning I had an epiphany. This blog and the whole concept of Sane & Satisfied is to find the life that makes you happy and to get rid of anything that forces you to not be yourself and to try to do all of this in the least stressful way. So yesterday I was working on a website for my part time gig and I was thinking to myself (as I nashed my teeth) that I really didn't want to be working on that website. I went into what I call "Funkland". In Funkland, I question myself and everything I'm doing and I even start to have nightmares of myself working at McDonalds for the rest of my life. Funkland is the complete opposite of Sane & Satisfied.

This is starting to turn into a long boring expatiation. So like my husband tells me, I will think about it and cut straight to the end.

I was in Funkland because I can't seem to figure out what I want to do with my life. And most of the time I figure something out like Academy for Self Education it still feels like the pieces aren't in the right place yet. And that's when it hit me. The pieces AREN'T in the right place. They are scattered all around me in different areas of life.

I realized that I need to bring together all these pieces of things I love to do like drawing, writing, typesetting, books, reading, learning, designing worksheets and workbooks and selling things I make with my own two hands. I have been doing all of those things already for a while now but they weren't connected.

Until today!

Enter birds singing, and light from heaven shining down on me and a choir of angels singing Hallelujah. I'm one step closer to Sane & Satisfied!

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