Since I've been thinking, or probably more to the point, brooding over Sane & Satisfied my mind keeps coming back to distractions. I started to read the book, The Celestine Prophecy, and then watched the movie instead. On a side note, that was the first time I ever said that the movie was better than the book. I did enjoy it and not for it's new-age-we-can-transcend-into-better-humans-if-we-just-commune-with-nature-and-learn-to-be-less-angry-selfish-and-greedy sermon. I enjoyed it because it told a story of how human kind has veered off track.
The characters in The Celestine Prophecy (which is a work of fiction, although the author and many of the book's followers will have you believe that it's real) explain that when we began to question the infallibility of God we began to look around our world and define it for ourselves. So we sent out scientists and artists and biologists and such to document this world and then come back and share their findings. Unfortunately while we waited for them to come back we got distracted with every day life and forgot why we had sent them on the quest in the first place.
This part of the story really struck something in me. I find myself thinking about this concept regularly. The more I examine my life I realize that distractions are a big barrier to becoming Sane & Satisfied. Distractions are not only frustrating, they are draining and lead us so far off track that we sometimes can't find our way back.
I believe that most of America is distracted right now. I won't go into specifics in this post (there's more time for that later) but we have gotten to the point now where it seems that smoke and mirrors, misdirection and agendas are reality. That's how distracted we are; we can't tell distractions from reality. Reminds me of the movie, Inception.
As I was coming up to bed tonight I was thinking of all the things I wanted to do today that never got done. And I asked myself, Why is it so hard to be the person I want to be and who I feel I'm meant to be? The answer that came to me immediately was that I'm dealing with so many distractions right now. It's a wonder I get one thing accomplished in a day.
Distractions wear us out and ruin our flow and hide the truth. When you are busy looking that way something is happening over here. It's a matter of physics: when your energy is focused on something it cannot be focused on something else. But distraction makes it even worse by covering the truth.
I always know how to begin posts but for some reason it's a lot harder for me to finish them. How do I finish a post about distractions when I'm yawning to go to bed? I think that distractions are a given in life and when we don't know ourselves or trust ourselves or have a clear picture of what we want our life to be distractions have a greater effect.
What distractions do you have in your life right now? How can you decrease those distractions? And more importantly who are you right now? I know I mentioned earlier that I had asked myself why it is so hard to be who you want to be. But after writing this post I don't think that's the right question. I am who I am right now. I need to realize what's going on in my life right now in order to get rid of some of those distractions and uncover me.
Ahhhhh, the results of self-help making me feel like somehow I'm not me until I go through their step by step program. Well, I have a question: If I'm not me right now then who am it?
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Funkland, Standards & a Truthful Guage
Funkland
I started to slip into Funkland again today. I really thought my time there was over. For those of you who don't know what Funkland is, it's where you are when you question yourself, are feeling sorry for yourself or are generally unsure of what to do next. I used to find myself in Funkland at least once a week. Not fun. And for a while I had managed to stay out. I'm not sure what triggers it but I've found that any sort of action like cleaning or doing the dishes or just working on a different task usually gets me out of there.
For me Funkland is a big barrier to being and staying Sane & Satisfied. I really don't like not knowing what to do; it's a very unsettling feeling. And it usually snowballs into other bad feelings and melancholy. When I'm in Funkland I'm almost able to talk myself into being a waitress again.
I'm beginning to think that maybe Funkland is the place your brain takes you when you are moving out of your comfort zone and your brain doesn't know what to do. The safest place for your brain and for you to be is the past where things are familiar. You know already know what you did yesterday. You know what sitting in front of the TV for hours feels like. But you don't know what starting a business is like or what trying to get a book published is like. The unknown is scary.
What I Learned From Funkland
I think the other reason I go to Funkland sometimes is when I'm trying too hard to do something that I don't have the skill sets for. Today I was working on my business plan and worrying over the financial statements. I'm good at math but I loath working with numbers. Visiting Funkland today reminded me that we don't have to be great at everything.
I wrote yesterday about setting your bar too high. And the more I think about the meaning of Sane & Satisfied the more I keep thinking about how there seems to be a wide gap between what my expectations are and what I'm actually able to deliver.
This realization isn't meant to be a criticism. This is actually a very powerful thing to realize. I have felt like a failure so many times simply because I set my standards too high. It had nothing to do with my abilities.
I don't mean to set your sights so low that you overcome them so swiftly and painlessly that your success is now skewed. Setting standards and goals for yourself should be realistic both in what you are asking of yourself and to what extent. Only with a truthful gauge can we truly measure our success.
I started to slip into Funkland again today. I really thought my time there was over. For those of you who don't know what Funkland is, it's where you are when you question yourself, are feeling sorry for yourself or are generally unsure of what to do next. I used to find myself in Funkland at least once a week. Not fun. And for a while I had managed to stay out. I'm not sure what triggers it but I've found that any sort of action like cleaning or doing the dishes or just working on a different task usually gets me out of there.
For me Funkland is a big barrier to being and staying Sane & Satisfied. I really don't like not knowing what to do; it's a very unsettling feeling. And it usually snowballs into other bad feelings and melancholy. When I'm in Funkland I'm almost able to talk myself into being a waitress again.
I'm beginning to think that maybe Funkland is the place your brain takes you when you are moving out of your comfort zone and your brain doesn't know what to do. The safest place for your brain and for you to be is the past where things are familiar. You know already know what you did yesterday. You know what sitting in front of the TV for hours feels like. But you don't know what starting a business is like or what trying to get a book published is like. The unknown is scary.
What I Learned From Funkland
I think the other reason I go to Funkland sometimes is when I'm trying too hard to do something that I don't have the skill sets for. Today I was working on my business plan and worrying over the financial statements. I'm good at math but I loath working with numbers. Visiting Funkland today reminded me that we don't have to be great at everything.
I wrote yesterday about setting your bar too high. And the more I think about the meaning of Sane & Satisfied the more I keep thinking about how there seems to be a wide gap between what my expectations are and what I'm actually able to deliver.
This realization isn't meant to be a criticism. This is actually a very powerful thing to realize. I have felt like a failure so many times simply because I set my standards too high. It had nothing to do with my abilities.
I don't mean to set your sights so low that you overcome them so swiftly and painlessly that your success is now skewed. Setting standards and goals for yourself should be realistic both in what you are asking of yourself and to what extent. Only with a truthful gauge can we truly measure our success.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Dizzying Heights, The Greats & Gold Medals
The more I learn about being Sane & Satisfied the more I realize that the goal of life isn't to be a genius or master artist or the best gymnast, dancer or award winning singer. The goal of life isn't to be perfect. And you certainly aren't a failure if you come in second or even third or even 100th. Yet so many people set their personal bar at those dizzying heights.
So many of us believe that if we can't be the best then it's not worth even trying. This is where my head was for the last year. I'd look at all those people who already have successful businesses and I'd think, "well, I'm pretty sure I'll never be as great as them so I should probably just go back to waitressing."
We miss out on our true calling if we think like this. And we miss out on many moments of satisfaction too. When we are constantly comparing ourselves to others and finding (or perceiving) ourselves coming up short we judge and criticize ourselves. This time could be better spent accepting ourselves and just enjoying whatever activity we are engaged in.
The Greats achieve honors and awards because of the work they put into their craft. They weren't "the best" first. They had the passion and courage first and then found success. Their natural talents help, of course. And you have natural talents too. Just because you don't win a gold medal doesn't mean you aren't doing what you are meant to be doing.
So many of us believe that if we can't be the best then it's not worth even trying. This is where my head was for the last year. I'd look at all those people who already have successful businesses and I'd think, "well, I'm pretty sure I'll never be as great as them so I should probably just go back to waitressing."
We miss out on our true calling if we think like this. And we miss out on many moments of satisfaction too. When we are constantly comparing ourselves to others and finding (or perceiving) ourselves coming up short we judge and criticize ourselves. This time could be better spent accepting ourselves and just enjoying whatever activity we are engaged in.
The Greats achieve honors and awards because of the work they put into their craft. They weren't "the best" first. They had the passion and courage first and then found success. Their natural talents help, of course. And you have natural talents too. Just because you don't win a gold medal doesn't mean you aren't doing what you are meant to be doing.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
The Fittest, the clouds & the truth
Survival of the fittest is often met with scorn, ridicule and a general feeling of contempt for the person who believes in the concept. Survival of the fittest is generally used to describe the fact that the strongest, most resourceful animals and humans survive when other mammals don't.
There are some people, especially in the political environment who criticize and often times criminalize businesses for operating under the old survival of the fittest mantra. They say that these CEOs only care about the bottom line and they get rich "off the backs" of their employees.
Now, I do not support sub-standard working conditions, or discrimination of any ethnic group or sexual orientation. However, what I do support is a business doing what it needs to do, short of scamming their customers and employees, in order to keep it's business running and it's employees employed. And if that involves operating under the concept of survival of the fittest than that's fine too.
What frustrates me about people who demonize the concept of survival of the fittest is that we all have been operating under survival of the fittest our whole lives and continue to operate under this premise. Regardless of our feelings about it survival of the fittest is here to stay. Call it human nature, call it natural order of things. I call it logic.
If a business was not balancing its accounts at the end of each month, or if, for instance, a business in Downtown Danville, Il, where I live, wasn't marketing itself well enough to attract customers than those businesses will fail. There's no question of whether they should fail or not, they are going to fail. That's simply how things work.
And while it seems a little harsh to say this, it works the same way with individuals. If you aren't balancing your checkbook each month or presenting yourself well enough at a job interview you will have less money and in turn won't be able to buy the things you need or want. It's not rocket science.
And this brings me to being Sane & Satisfied. We are told every day that it's a travesty of our time that there are still hungry and homeless people on the streets. Some people even tell us that this is caused by the rich and powerful. If by that, they meant that we all effect each other from the poorest to the richest, then I would agree. But they really mean that it's all the rich people's fault. The problem with this is that because so many people believe this argument they approach the solution from this angle. Most solutions I hear are directed toward taking money from the rich people in our country. And because these people also believe that the poor are having things taken from them they think that solution is to just give it back (in the form of government handouts, food and public housing.)
So many times we don't define the problem well enough and that results in our solutions not doing what we expect them to do.
Let's get away from politics for a moment and journey into the land of self help. This is an industry that thrives on not defining the problem well enough. They tell us that the problem is that we are not who we want to be. And maybe on some level that's accurate. But they never seem to tell us that maybe the person who we are is exactly who we are supposed to be. The problem is that society doesn't like certain types of people.
Take me for example. I am a very outgoing and opinionated person. I'm not afraid of conflict, in fact, I believe that conflict is necessary for growth. I also stick up for my actions even when people are telling me I should apologize. These traits were not praised in school, they were not praised among my friends and they are certainly not praised in main stream media or in political and social discussions.
I built up a lot of stress when I tried to conform to how society told me I should behave. This is actually the only conflict I don't condone. Being in conflict with others can help us all grow and learn more about ourselves. Being in conflict with ourselves only leads to frustration, anger, confusion, depression and general unhappiness.
Part of being Sane & Satisfied is defining your problems and barriers accurately. So often everyone else's voice and opinion gets in the way and clouds things. Much like the ongoing discussion about poverty and big business has been clouded and skewed your perception of yourself and your hurdles is probably skewed too.
I truly believe that as soon as we are able to look at poverty through the lens of truth and logic we will find that or solutions toward poverty succeed. I also believe that as soon as we all are able to look at ourselves and our own problems through the lens of truth we will finally find sanity and satisfaction. This will give us the greatest advantage to surviving.
There are some people, especially in the political environment who criticize and often times criminalize businesses for operating under the old survival of the fittest mantra. They say that these CEOs only care about the bottom line and they get rich "off the backs" of their employees.
Now, I do not support sub-standard working conditions, or discrimination of any ethnic group or sexual orientation. However, what I do support is a business doing what it needs to do, short of scamming their customers and employees, in order to keep it's business running and it's employees employed. And if that involves operating under the concept of survival of the fittest than that's fine too.
What frustrates me about people who demonize the concept of survival of the fittest is that we all have been operating under survival of the fittest our whole lives and continue to operate under this premise. Regardless of our feelings about it survival of the fittest is here to stay. Call it human nature, call it natural order of things. I call it logic.
If a business was not balancing its accounts at the end of each month, or if, for instance, a business in Downtown Danville, Il, where I live, wasn't marketing itself well enough to attract customers than those businesses will fail. There's no question of whether they should fail or not, they are going to fail. That's simply how things work.
And while it seems a little harsh to say this, it works the same way with individuals. If you aren't balancing your checkbook each month or presenting yourself well enough at a job interview you will have less money and in turn won't be able to buy the things you need or want. It's not rocket science.
And this brings me to being Sane & Satisfied. We are told every day that it's a travesty of our time that there are still hungry and homeless people on the streets. Some people even tell us that this is caused by the rich and powerful. If by that, they meant that we all effect each other from the poorest to the richest, then I would agree. But they really mean that it's all the rich people's fault. The problem with this is that because so many people believe this argument they approach the solution from this angle. Most solutions I hear are directed toward taking money from the rich people in our country. And because these people also believe that the poor are having things taken from them they think that solution is to just give it back (in the form of government handouts, food and public housing.)
So many times we don't define the problem well enough and that results in our solutions not doing what we expect them to do.
Let's get away from politics for a moment and journey into the land of self help. This is an industry that thrives on not defining the problem well enough. They tell us that the problem is that we are not who we want to be. And maybe on some level that's accurate. But they never seem to tell us that maybe the person who we are is exactly who we are supposed to be. The problem is that society doesn't like certain types of people.
Take me for example. I am a very outgoing and opinionated person. I'm not afraid of conflict, in fact, I believe that conflict is necessary for growth. I also stick up for my actions even when people are telling me I should apologize. These traits were not praised in school, they were not praised among my friends and they are certainly not praised in main stream media or in political and social discussions.
I built up a lot of stress when I tried to conform to how society told me I should behave. This is actually the only conflict I don't condone. Being in conflict with others can help us all grow and learn more about ourselves. Being in conflict with ourselves only leads to frustration, anger, confusion, depression and general unhappiness.
Part of being Sane & Satisfied is defining your problems and barriers accurately. So often everyone else's voice and opinion gets in the way and clouds things. Much like the ongoing discussion about poverty and big business has been clouded and skewed your perception of yourself and your hurdles is probably skewed too.
I truly believe that as soon as we are able to look at poverty through the lens of truth and logic we will find that or solutions toward poverty succeed. I also believe that as soon as we all are able to look at ourselves and our own problems through the lens of truth we will finally find sanity and satisfaction. This will give us the greatest advantage to surviving.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Higher Education, Self Education & the Ultimate Equalizer
I just read a post by Race Bannon over on The Art of Self Education about the costs of higher education effecting the decision to attend college. I agree with Race's comment about the increased cost of college has resulted in many young people questioning whether college is right for them. My comment to his post started out as simply a, "thanks for pointing that out, can't wait to read more" comment but as I started to write I thought of the deeper meaning of his post and the discussion he started and how it relates to Sane & Satisfied.
I can’t say whether most colleges are “too expensive”; I’ve never run a college or researched how much it costs per student. I suspect that state funded colleges are “too expensive” only because, being funded by a government entity, they don’t have much motivation to keep costs down. But I think that if private colleges and universities have raised their tuition over the last years its because of a rise in supplies and other resources needed for the school to function and probably more so, from a rise in demands from the students and their parents. With so many more Americans going to colleges today than 20 plus years ago that brings with it more expense to the school. So while I agree that this increase has caused possibly a beginning discussion about the value of alternative learning I just wanted to point out that it’s not a mystery or conspiracy why colleges have gotten more expensive (as some people would have you believe.)
I also wanted to mention that the mentality surrounding college education changed drastically which resulting in an influx of young people attending college. Parents who wanted “better lives” for their children saw college as a way to get that better life. And then it became common practice to encourage every child to go to college no matter that child’s ability. Some people are not made for a college environment. Nor is everyone in the best position to go to college. Before, children stayed at home to take care of ailing parents and grand parents or to help on the farm or the family business. I’m not saying that I expect young people forgo a college education to help out at home but I think there has been so much expectation for young people to go to college that we don’t consider anymore if the child is ready or if the family can even afford it.
So I think all of these factors have resulted in people today realizing that they might not be able to afford going to college. But the other side to all of this are the businesses now who require a college education for a job that doesn’t really require one. I hope that with this rethinking of attending college comes a rethinking of the requirements demanded by employers.
I’m also thinking of this from a political perspective too. I’ve been hearing a lot about equality lately and of course I agree with equality from the standpoint of how the government treats a group of people. But equality does not mean that if someone has the ability to go to college then they have the right to go. I think we need to start recognizing that while we should all have the same freedoms to pursue the life we want we all don’t have the same talents, abilities, skills, motivation, money or luck to make those desires become a reality. And that brings me back to self education: In the end, the degree to which we have all those things I just mentioned doesn’t matter. If we have self education skills and knowledge we can create the life we want no matter where we started in life. The solution to most everything, at least for me, always comes back to self education. Self Education is the ultimate equalizer!
The difference between self education and traditional learning (think about your public school education) is that in traditional learning you are reliant on an authority figure giving you the answers and facts and dates to memorize. This is not natural or true learning. It does not help you to develop an understanding about the subject. Self Education gives you that understanding.
The more you understand about yourself and the world around you the more happier you will be because you will have the skills and knowledge necessary to shape your world. You will no longer be someone's puppet and you will realize a lot sooner when someone is pulling the wool over your eyes.
Are Colleges "Too Expensive"?
I can’t say whether most colleges are “too expensive”; I’ve never run a college or researched how much it costs per student. I suspect that state funded colleges are “too expensive” only because, being funded by a government entity, they don’t have much motivation to keep costs down. But I think that if private colleges and universities have raised their tuition over the last years its because of a rise in supplies and other resources needed for the school to function and probably more so, from a rise in demands from the students and their parents. With so many more Americans going to colleges today than 20 plus years ago that brings with it more expense to the school. So while I agree that this increase has caused possibly a beginning discussion about the value of alternative learning I just wanted to point out that it’s not a mystery or conspiracy why colleges have gotten more expensive (as some people would have you believe.)
I also wanted to mention that the mentality surrounding college education changed drastically which resulting in an influx of young people attending college. Parents who wanted “better lives” for their children saw college as a way to get that better life. And then it became common practice to encourage every child to go to college no matter that child’s ability. Some people are not made for a college environment. Nor is everyone in the best position to go to college. Before, children stayed at home to take care of ailing parents and grand parents or to help on the farm or the family business. I’m not saying that I expect young people forgo a college education to help out at home but I think there has been so much expectation for young people to go to college that we don’t consider anymore if the child is ready or if the family can even afford it.
So I think all of these factors have resulted in people today realizing that they might not be able to afford going to college. But the other side to all of this are the businesses now who require a college education for a job that doesn’t really require one. I hope that with this rethinking of attending college comes a rethinking of the requirements demanded by employers.
I’m also thinking of this from a political perspective too. I’ve been hearing a lot about equality lately and of course I agree with equality from the standpoint of how the government treats a group of people. But equality does not mean that if someone has the ability to go to college then they have the right to go. I think we need to start recognizing that while we should all have the same freedoms to pursue the life we want we all don’t have the same talents, abilities, skills, motivation, money or luck to make those desires become a reality. And that brings me back to self education: In the end, the degree to which we have all those things I just mentioned doesn’t matter. If we have self education skills and knowledge we can create the life we want no matter where we started in life. The solution to most everything, at least for me, always comes back to self education. Self Education is the ultimate equalizer!
So what does Self Education have to do with Sane & Satisfied
I think that self education is a huge ingredient in being Sane & Satisfied. How can you possibly be happy, content and successful in life if you are ignorant about yourself, your history and current affairs?The difference between self education and traditional learning (think about your public school education) is that in traditional learning you are reliant on an authority figure giving you the answers and facts and dates to memorize. This is not natural or true learning. It does not help you to develop an understanding about the subject. Self Education gives you that understanding.
The more you understand about yourself and the world around you the more happier you will be because you will have the skills and knowledge necessary to shape your world. You will no longer be someone's puppet and you will realize a lot sooner when someone is pulling the wool over your eyes.
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